Now, I owe that friend a big favor. There are three things about Dr. Kübler-Ross that make this lecture so powerful and interesting to listen to.

First, she is a scientist. She makes it clear that she was initially skeptical about anything supernatural. OK, lots of people say that...but something about her low-key, factual approach makes it very believable in her case. She gives you reasons to believe. For instance, dying children often describe seeing their loved ones—parents, siblings, and so on—but only loved ones who are themselves already dead. They never report seeing living relatives. Which doesn't sound so surprising in itself, except that often they have no way of knowing that these particular people are dead. She recounts many examples where the dying child simply could not know that his brother died first, but the child reports seeing the brother.

Second, she has been on the front lines for a very, very long time. Most of her stories involve interactions with children who are going to die, and know it. She has had thousands of those conversations, and I suspect she remembers each one as a beloved, lost friend. If there were nothing scientific or spiritual about the lecture, her compassionate recountings of discussions with children who know they are going to die would make for a gripping experience. There is absolutely nothing maudlin or sentimental about her, but the simple reality can move you to tears.

Finally, Dr. Kübler-Ross is a profoundly spiritual person. I don't mean the fact that she believes in the supernatural, in life after death, and most of all that "we never die alone." I don't even mean the amazing, personal spiritual experiences that she herself recounts, although it's hard not to believe in them.

I mean that there is something in her voice that I have only heard in a few highly advanced spiritual teachers and students: something that makes me think she has found what I'm looking for. It comes out most clearly in one moment. She describes working in a hospital wing where many dying children were tended by doctors, nurses, and ministers of all kinds. But the person who seemed to touch and comfort these dying children most was one of the maids who cleaned the rooms. Dr. Kübler-Ross spoke to the maid, and discovered that she herself had experienced a lifetime of pain and death, and could relate to the children through her own grief. So Dr. Kübler-Ross made the maid her personal assistant, "much to the dismay of my academic colleagues." The audiences laughs and applauds at this point, and she stops them—very calmly. Are you applauding because you resent the academic or medical establishment, and want to see them humbled? Then you are only spreading negativity. Stop it.